Yesterday my
mom and I were in her car; she was driving us to an appointment I made with the
florist for my and Chris’s wedding. Chris wasn’t with us, because flowers.
Mom glanced at me. “I’ve been
thinking… do you remember I mentioned a few years ago about writing down three
things you’re grateful for every day?”
I said yes,
that I did remember.
She said, “Well,
I’ve decided I’m going to do it. Will you do it with me?”
I said that
I absolutely would. Why not, right? A little gratefulness is always welcome.
She said, “Great because I already bought each of us a notebook! I got mauve and green; which
colour do you want?”
What
brought this on is that my mom is retiring (for the second time) today. The first time was three or four years ago, when she retired
from her 30-something-year career, thinking she was
ready to slow down the pace of her life, travel more, and pick up new hobbies.
It was a good thing she retired when she did, because not even one month later,
my dad got into a very serious ski accident that resulted in a lot of broken
bones, surgery, and months of physiotherapy. Had my mom still been working, no
one would have been around to help him move around the house those first few weeks post-accident.
But
eventually, he made a full recovery (and went skiing the very next winter!), and my mom, who has always been used to doing
something, or taking care of something, suddenly had nothing to do or take care
of. I mean really, a person can only make so many quilts or go out for coffee with friends so many times before going a little nuts. Within a few weeks, she had found another job.
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| Me and Mumsy |
My mom loves working. It is a core piece of who she is. I, on the other hand, not so much. I do
something I enjoy, and I’m happy with where I’m at… but when I think of who I
am or someone says, “Tell me about yourself”… my job is not at all how I identify
with or describe myself. My mom is totally the opposite. She likes
being busy, having a schedule, being respected, accomplishing tasks, feeling
important, and just the whole idea of what working means. She is a classic workaholic,
and for as long as I’ve been alive, she has described herself in a way that
directly ties into her job.
She told me last night that she anticipates a depression in the future. Not tomorrow, but eventually, because for so long she has identified herself by her job… and that’s not going to be there for her anymore. So… it’s
not surprising at all that she wants to start recording the daily things she is
grateful for.
She wants
to get into the habit of appreciating everything in her life that isn’t work-related, so that when the depression comes, she has already begun to be
grateful for things other than work. You train your brain to think positively.
If you know you’re going to need to come up with three unique things each day
that you are grateful for, your eyes and your heart will be open, all day, to
each and every experience, wondering if that one thing will make today’s
grateful list. It stands to reason, then, that you’ll generally be a happier,
more positive person, because you are now conscious and aware of all the mundane yet wonderfully exciting things that you overlooked before.
