Two years ago, I was driving with my brother when it started to rain. The temperature rapidly dropped below zero, and unbeknownst to me, there was a flash freeze on the roads, making driving conditions extremely dangerous. I didn't know this then because I was in my warm vehicle. I only found out later when the police arrived at the accident scene and told me.
I was on an exit ramp going 80km per hour when I lost control of my car. I started fishtailing, and I didn't know what to do. Everything happened very quickly, but in my mind, time slowed to a snail's pace. I looked at my brother and frantically asked, "What do I do!?" He calmly replied, "It's too late. There's nothing you can do."
In an instant, I remembered hearing once, many years ago, if you know a car accident is
inevitable, the best thing you can do is completely relax your body. Car
accident injuries are most likely to happen when you tense your muscles and joints. So, I relaxed my body, closed my eyes, said, "Fuck," and then prayed we weren't
about to die.
I felt us skidding and sliding and then immediately heard an ear-pounding SMASH!
Then, suddenly, like it was all a dream, we weren't moving anymore. The chaos disappeared, and the air was filled with silence.
I opened my eyes. I had taken out a light pole and guardrail on the highway. I looked at my brother, covered in glass–the passenger window broke into a million pieces all over him. The passenger door had caved in on him. The windshield was broken but intact. My brother was dazed but responsive.
I was shaken up but otherwise fine.
I started crying and apologizing profusely. My brother had some very sore muscles and terrible bruising for months afterward, but beyond that, he was okay.
Since that day, I have a genuine fear of winter driving, and I sense with 100% certainty that I will die in a car accident. My family reassures me this will not happen, but there is no convincing me.
The first snowfall of the year occurred last week, causing my usual thirty-minute drive home from work to turn into one-and-a-half hours. When I walked in my front door, I immediately began feeling the aftershocks of the panic I now feel when winter driving, and I spent the next few hours crying.
It's almost enough to make me move somewhere that doesn't see snow.
